12 Things You Should Never Say to a Friend Who Just Got Dumped

No need to add insult to injury

When a friend gets their heart broken, BFF instincts kick in and you want to say anything to make them feel better. And while your intentions are probably in the right place, your words might not come off like you were hoping they would. Before you make your friend’s situation any worse than it already is, check out these 12 things you should never say to someone who’s newly single.

“You’re way more fun single, anyway.”

 

“I knew you two would break up eventually.”

 

“There are plenty of fish in the sea.”

 

“You should probably hook up with his friend to spite him.”

 

“I wish you would’ve broken up sooner.”

 

“They’ll beg you to take them back—you’ll see.”

 

“You were too good for them anyway.”

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“You’ll love being single!”

 

“It could be worse.”

 

“Maybe you’ll get back together?”

 

“You’ll get over it in no time.”

 

“Remember all the good times you had together!”

 

Okay, okay - so these are all the things NOT to say to a friend who's heartbroken. But what exactly should you say? Start with "I'm sorry" and "How are you feeling? Are you okay?" Wine and ice cream helps, too. And if they're looking for advice about how to get over the loser, refer to this: 6 Healthy Ways to Get Over a Breakup. And hugs go a long way, too!

photos via Giphy.com unless otherwise noted

Why It’s Okay to Turn Down A Fitness Friend Date (And How To Do It)

It’s not always the best idea to work out with a friend

We can pretty much guarantee that you already know the main perks of working out with a friend. She holds you accountable and therefore keeps you motivated (aka will text you REPEATEDLY if you’re late for your yoga date), and she may encourage you to push yourself to the max. But here’s the thing: Just because fitness friend dates work for so many women doesn’t mean they necessarily work for you.

In fact, according to Jennifer Burke, a personal trainer at Crunch in Los Angeles, there are two big reasons why sweating it out solo could be a better option for many women. The first is if your friends are basically using you as their own personal motivators. “Some people are so internally motivated that they don’t need anyone to drag them to the gym. And that's awesome! But what happens with those people is that others pick up on that, and ask them to be fitness buddies because they know they won’t flake," Burke says. The problem? You end up helping your friends more than they’re helping you.

The other reason exercising solo could work better for you is that you get to have your own workout, 100 percent just for you. “You don’t have to feel like you’re either pulling someone else along, or you’re dragging behind someone else,” Burke explains. In other words, there's a beauty that comes with being your own boss and not answering to anyone else’s fitness goals but your own. Plus, working out solo can be a great time to get your thoughts in order. “It gives you time to get your frustrations out, focus on your own problems, and even just plan out your week or your day in your head,” continues Burke. It’s much harder to get lost in your own zone when you’re huffing and puffing next to a friend.

So how do you turn down a friend who constantly asks you to go running together, or go to fitness classes together? It’s not easy. But it is possible. Just tell her that you really appreciate the fact that she wants to spend time with you, but that you use exercise time as your “me” time. And then ask her to hang in some other way, like getting coffee or a smoothie, or hitting up happy hour together, suggests Burke. The caveat: If you can tell that she’s totally one of those people who realllly needs someone else to motivate her to get to the gym, help her out by suggesting fun fitness classes that she can go to on her own (or one that you don't mind joining her on - after your solo workout), or a cool running route that you discovered, says Burke. That way, you’ll still be doing your part to encourage your friend’s healthy lifestyle without sacrificing too much of your own precious time.  

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