4 Steps to Becoming a Better Listener

Yes, you can hear him talking—but are you really listening? Here's how to make sure

We can all use a little refresher on how to pay attention when someone's talking to us. The next time your guy starts blabbing—whether it's about his idiot coworker or a serious problem with a family member—follow these tips from David Posen, M.D., to stay tuned in:

Be in the Moment
Avoid cracking a joke or changing the subject. If he's been talking for awhile and you want clarity, just say, "What I'm hearing you say is. . ." This way, you can add to the convo, and he can clear up any gray areas.

Make Sure it's the Right Time
If you're making dinner and your guy wants to talk, you may miss parts of what he says. "Ask if he can wait so you can give him your attention," says Posen.

Don't Rush in with Your Opinion
Before you launch into what you think, make sure he wants to hear it. Ask, "Do you want my feedback?" If he says yes, offer your advice. If he says no, just tell him that you're happy he told you about it.

Keep Your Eyes on Him
Maintaining eye contact signals that you're focused on what he's saying. "Don't look out the window," says Posen, "and definitely not at your electronics."

Categories: Becoming , Better , Listener , Steps